Atlas

• Director: Brad Peyton
• Writers: Leo Sardarian, Aron Eli Coleite
• Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Simu Liu, Sterling K. Brown, Mark Strong, Gregory James Cohan, Abraham Popoola

Grade: F

We’ve seen a great number of bad movies so far in the year of our lord 2024, but Atlas – coming to Netflix on Friday – makes a strong case for being the worst. The streamer gets a lot of flack for putting forth forgettable, derivative dreck every month, so some tempering of expectations should come with the territory. Director Brad Payton, who’s made similarly blockbuster-lite fare like San Andreas and Rampage seems to understand the assignment well enough by leaning into the B-movie schlock, but that doesn’t excuse the miserable experience of watching the film.

The Garfield Movie

• Director: Mark Dindal
• Writers: Paul A. Kaplan, Mark Torgove, David Reynolds
• Starring: Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson, Hannah Waddingham, Nicholas Hoult, Bowen Yang, Ving Rhames, Brett Goldstein, Cecily Strong

Grade: C-

The great thing about making The Garfield Movie is that, unlike most IP-driven adaptations, director Mark Dindal isn’t beholden to a great deal of lore. Jim Davis’s long-running comic strip has seen the flabby feline eat, sleep, and torment Odie the dog and Jon the human in innumerable ways since 1978, with little variation in formula. This frees up screenwriters Paul A. Kaplan, Mark Torgove, and David Reynolds to essentially tell whatever story they want without trying to introduce some cockamamie origin story or get to a specific point in Garfield’s timeline. Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop The Garfield Movie from feeling like a lazy version of what it could be.

Thelma the Unicorn

• Director: Jared Hess, Lynn Wang
• Writers: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess
• Starring: Brittany Howard, Will Forte, Jemaine Clement, Edi Patterson, Fred Armisen, John Heder

Grade: C-

Most of children’s entertainment is rooted in the idea of changing your circumstances when life deals you a rotten hand. From Cinderella to Dumbo, and even Angels in the Outfield, the basic formula of the fairytale is in going from nobody to somebody. Thelma the Unicorn, coming to Netflix on Friday, takes the tried and true formula and cranks the energy up to eleven thousand. Netflix has a relatively solid track record with animation, but Jared Hess and Lynn Wang’s film often feels like a rejected Illumination project that Netflix picked up off the scrap heap.

I Saw the TV Glow

• Director: Jane Schoenbrun
• Writer: Jane Schoenbrun
• Starring: Justice Smith, Brigette Lundy-Paine, Ian Foreman, Helena Howard, Lindsey Jordan, Danielle Deadwyler, Fred Durst

Grade: A-

Everyone wants to be seen. Everyone wants to feel like they belong. Everyone just wants to feel like they’re not alone. In I Saw the TV Glow, belonging takes the form of a young adult television show, and it’s filtered through writer-director Jane Schoenbrun’s unique filmmaking style, creating a wholly original and entrancing work. It’s a purposefully bizarre film which swings for the fences, and it likely won’t work for large swaths of the moviegoing public, but it’s no less refreshing to see something original executed so confidently.

Rebel Moon Part Two: The Scargiver

• Director: Zack Snyder
• Writers: Zack Snyder, Shay Hatten, Kurt Johnstad
• Starring: Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Michiel Huisman, Bae Doona, Ed Skrein, Staz Nair, Cleopatra Coleman, Anthony Hopkins

Grade: C-

Even at 23 minutes shorter, Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon Part Two: The Scargiver manages to be just as exhausting as Part One: A Child of Fire. Perhaps it’s from the copious amounts of slow-mo, a bona fide trademark amongst Snyder’s films. Perhaps it’s because, for the first hour, nothing really happens besides needless character exposition. At least The Scargiver feels slightly less derivative, less poorly assembled than A Child of Fire, and tells a simple story of rebellion. Yes, this very much still feels like Snyder’s misguided homage to Star Wars in all its sci-fi trappings, but this outing is more competently made and easy to follow – with a few notable exceptions.